2017 – A year split in half
There was the time between January to June when everything was going well with my goals. I was on track with my European Portuguese learning. I had stopped taking a photo everyday but this was fine. I had stopped recording a sound everyday but this was fine too.
I was exploring the areas around my new home. I was reading a book by a Portuguese author every month. I was spending time on my longboard and learning a few dance steps. I didn’t think I was going to go on a microadventure on it. I wasn’t going to walk the West Highland Way. And I wasn’t going to set up a new blog either but this was all fine.
I was happy with my goals. I was happy with my new life in Bristol.
But then came July and all my plans got shuffled.
I was invited by Bivouac Recordings and Humandhood Recordings to produce albums for them. This was fantastic news, one I could hardly believe. I agreed and got to work. I knew I would have less free time, but I didn’t realise just how much of it would be engulfed by this audio work. And as a result everything else came to a halt.
I lost the discipline of learning a new language. I went exploring less and paid the usual price for it (exhaustion, mental drain, physical restlessness). I stopped reading Portuguese authors (I stopped reading quite a lot actually). And I gave up completely on a longboarding microadventure. I could look at this as a failure but it isn’t. It was fantastic to explore the audio world and to interact with many more people in it. It was an opportunity too good to pass and it was a great learning experience.
I learned that I can do more than I think I can. But I also learned that two albums in six months is too much. I enjoyed the creative process but I did not enjoy the loss of outdoor time. This made my life unbalanced and found me pushed to my limits, which wasn’t a good thing. A lesson I’ll strive to remember for 2018.
2018 – A year of being rubbish
I do not normally share my goals for the year ahead this early, but I’ve been thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2018 for a good month already. And most of it, I do not want to share publicly.
There is a school of thoughts that urges people to share their goals to make sure they accomplish them. The idea is that by voicing your intention publicly, you are held accountable and so more likely to reach your goals. And I tend to agree with this. But not this year, not for what I want to do.
2017 was a year of change. In 2016 I had left behind my dream job, accepting the fact that it is lost to me (for the foreseeable future). Instead I had gone cycle touring for a few months because I could. Upon coming back I tried to find a new direction in my life (and failed). But I did relocate to Bristol (which was good). Freshly moved into a new city, I began to find my feet and the life I was (and still am) seeking.
And now, a year later, I am more grounded. I can’t say I have found a new direction for me life, not entirely. But I have leads, paths I want to explore. Only they feel too personal, too tentative to be shared. I don’t know if they will be dead ends or endless networks. All I know is that I have a lot to learn, and that means being rubbish. I’m setting foot in unexplored territory, places where I have little knowledge and little experience. This is exhilarating, a blank slate all to myself.
I have to serve my apprenticeship. And this means that plans and ideas that I have now will change. All that is certain is that I have a direction, an aim for the future, and 2018 is the year I set the stepping-stones for it.